October 18, 2009

Silence Please!

I was jolted out of bed last night at 3am by Elmo yelling "WEEEEEEEEEEEE" followed by cookie monster going "Chomp, chomp, chomp!" My sleepy brain couldn't figure out what was going on. Was I being attacked by Muppet's? Turns out, Noah just left one of those crazy talking toys under our bed that just happened to decide that the middle of the night was the perfect time for a conversation.

This is not the first time this has happened in our house. Noah did not sleep through the night until he was 2. Yes- you read that right. Not a single solitary night until he was 24 months old. Which pretty much means I was cranky and sleep deprived for 2 whole years. I used to have to hold him and walk him in circles all around the living room and kitchen to keep him quiet in the night. It seems like it never failed that just as that nocturnal baby would drift to sleep, somewhere from the depths of hell the toy box, a little British voice would yell "Oh bother, someone's out of honey." After sending Pooh telepathic curses, I would think, "It serves you right, being out of honey. Bears who yell out in the night don't deserve honey!!!" To this day, I am still not a big Winnie the Pooh fan and I am pretty sure it's because of that stupid possessed toy.

My Granny Sadie (who we named our Sadie after) has a possessed toy too. Sometimes we'll be sitting in the living room and out of the closet will come this booming, robotic voice: "Touch the red heart!" "Sorry, try again." "Touch the blue diamond!" I swear, that thing sounds like it's reading the back of the Lucky Charms box and it always finds a bizarre time to do it.

Moms out there- I am sure you know what I am talking about. These things will just about drive you crazy. I have even found myself refusing to replace batteries in talking toys. Once, I even lied and told Sadie that they stopped making the batteries to replace the ones that came out of this talking duck toy that quacked "Splish, Splash, I Was Taking A Bath" at a volume so loud, I am surprised we didn't attract a huge duck migration. Lucky for me, when we decided about a year later to actually put batteries back in said duck, she didn't remember my slight indescretion.

I realize that I have just spent an entire post writing about what is, perhaps, the most rediculous topic I have ever blogged about. In case you haven't guessed, it's because there is nothing exciting going on in the Terry household. Aside from the screaming toys, it's been a great quiet weekend!

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