March 30, 2010

Oh Lord, I'm Goin' There...

So today I was talking to my mom and I told her that for the summer I'd like to find someone to come and take all 3 of the kids away one day a week. I told her I thought that I needed that for my sanity. Then I felt this SERIOUS twinge of guilt! I got that, "Oh my gosh- that must mean I am a bad mom, and I am not nurturing my children enough, and they'll all turn out to be prostitutes and drug dealers" thing going through my head. Of course, I know this is so not true, but as women we are fooled into thinking that we can HAVE. IT. ALL. I think that you can have it all, just not all at once- because, you know, life goes in seasons and all that.

I love my kids. They are my whole life. But dude- sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a life outside of my kids... And why is it that when we start to envision that could-have been life, do we feel so bad about ourselves? It's not that we want that could-have been life everyday! I'd just like to have the opportunity to do that other life maybe one day a month (okay, every week) just to do something different! We shouldn't feel guilty about that but we do! (I say we, because I think that maybe you do the same thing, but hell- maybe it is just me!) Why in the world do we do this to ourselves? I thought about this all day. And do you want to know what I came up with? (Sure you do!) It is because there is always that crazy mega mom out there who will one up you and make you feel like crap about yourself. Come on- you know the mom... The one who only packs her kids organic, gourmet food for lunch. Who manages to be the president of the PTO, the leader of the Girl Scout Troop, and every charity board in between. Her kids know Mandarin when they are like, 3 years old. Her van doesn't even have one crunched up goldfish cracker on the floorboard. She always has her hair and makeup done and she somehow miraculously fits into her size 2 jeans without the aid of a girdle, and she does it all with a SMILE! Does anyone else want to slap this mom?

So today- I'm keepin' it real. We're all moms (except maybe the 2 or 3 men who actually read this blog) and we're all probably insecure about something. We always look at the next mom over and wonder how in the world she keeps it all together. And instead of thinking, "Good for her- she's pulling it off!" we take it as a personal attack on our own inability to keep all those balls in the air.

Several people ask me how in the world I find time to blog and that I must be really efficient. People- it is a facade! I blog because if I don't, I feel like I will spontaneously combust. It is my connection to the adult world. My blog world doesn't include Dora, or reading homework, or boo-boos, or diapers or hundreds of loads of laundry. This is my daily self-care. When I sit here- I can just be... a grown-up. I don't have it all together. Sometimes I only brush my kids teeth once a day. They get generic lunchables full of calories and no nutritional value in their lunch everyday because that's how I roll. I yell sometimes. My kids wear hand-me-downs and have holes in their socks. I let my kids watch way to much TV and I am guilty of making everyone eat cereal or pancakes all to often for dinner because I am just too tired to actually plan out anything better. And you know what? It's okay! We all love each other about 94% of the time in this house and I think that's pretty darn good!

So to those moms out there who "pretend" to have it all together: stop making the rest of us feel bad! In honor of the rest of you- I'm airing my dirty laundry, quite literally. Because just as that supermom makes us all feel like crap, I think seeing someone else's insecurities makes us feel a little bit better, even though we hate to admit it! I wish that these pictures were staged but unfortunately they're not. Here we go... (DEEP BREATH)

This is my laundry room. And sadly- I must confess that after Miles came home I got someone to come and help me once a week to keep up with the laundry and it is still this bad.

Even when all those hand-me-down kid clothes are hung up, they have to take up permanent residence in the laundry room because *gulp* my daughter's closet looks like this and I can't get to the clothing rack.

Did you readers in Switzerland and Australia and everywhere in between just hear my mother groan all the way from Kentucky? My aunts probably just said a great big collective, "Oh no she didn't!"

And here's my "office". It is a miracle that somehow all the bills get paid on time.(Thank you automatic bill pay!)

And then there's the kitchen (do you see why cereal is on the menu?):

Now- lovies, do you feel better about yourself? I sure hope so. Now- go forth with good self-esteem!

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