March 22, 2010

You Can't Say That On Television

When you are a mom of 3 nuts, you have no idea what will fly out of your pie hole at any given time. Here's a smattering of some things that have come out of my mouth this week (and no- I am not proud of very many of them!):

"We don't strangle people we love- now stop trying to put the TV cables around each others necks!"

"If I see you try to smell your sister's butt one more time you WILL go to time out."

"Pajamas are not food. Stop trying to eat your pajamas."

"No- I don't care if you color your whole body with markers. Just make sure you wash it all off before you come back out of the bathroom."

"Because I said so- that's why!" (said way more times than should be allowed. Did anybody else swear to themselves they'd never say this to their kids and then fail as miserably as I did?)"

"Every Chinese girl is not named Kai-lan. Every Latina girl is not Dora. And every African American boy is not named Little Bill."

While bra shopping, "Are you sure that's what size I need? When I look at that bra on the hanger, I feel like I could flip it over and serve chips and salsa out of those cups! That's depressing!" The sales lady was not amused.

"Happy Birthday, Kamron. Since you never put anything on your list, I got you something I would like to have instead!"

"Be careful with that zip lining. I've heard it could be brutal on your crotch."

"How many times do I have to tell you? Mommy's shirt is NOT your Kleenex!"

They always say that children learn more from what you do and less from what you say. Man oh man am I grateful for that! Hopefully I haven't warped these cuties too badly. Maybe instead of contributing to their 529's I should start setting aside dollars for their therapy!

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