April 06, 2010

6 weeks post adoption

Every adoption is different. Your try to prepare for every scenario. You research and read about the kids who won't attach. You read about the parents who won't attach. You read about the kids who over attach. But, like life, adoption is like a box of chocolates- you never know what you're going to get. So really- most of that research is for nothing, except your own peace of mind. Because when it all boils down, you just have to parent the best way you know how and do what works for you. We read so much stuff about how you shouldn't let other people hold or feed your child for x number of weeks after coming home. It seemed like that was the consensus for how to foster attachment. And it probably works for a lot of families. But that didn't work for us, so we threw that out the window. I'm glad that I had it in my arsenal of information, but in our situation, it was just useless knowledge.

So here we are 6 weeks post adoption and things are still surprisingly smooth. At our last doctor visit our pediatrician now estimates that Miles is about 20 months old. (Remember that his birth certificate says 8 months!) However- even though he is much older than we thought (which is super common in the adoption world!) he still is only 28 inches tall and weighs only 19 pounds. He doesn't register anywhere on the growth chart. Every single time we go to the doctor, Miles' ages exponentially. Getting regular food, sleep and love has boosted his development like crazy. We joke that with perhaps 6 months of regular food, we may discover that mister Miles is really around 5 years old! So this July- instead of celebrating his first birthday, it appears that we will be celebrating birthday number 2.

The first month at home was incredibly rough. No sleep. Lots of crying. Lots of needing to be held. Then all of a sudden I think it just clicked with him that we weren't going anywhere. That is not to say that he doesn't get stressed out when he can't see me or that he is completely fine- but more that I have seen a change in him and he just seems more settled. We had no intention of dropping him off anywhere for a very long time. But the kid started a full on football game in our Sunday School class a couple of weeks ago and we started thinking that maybe we ought to check out the nursery. We have the BEST nursery gals ever and they have loved on all of my children so I knew that Miles would be in great hands. We took him down one Sunday and let him explore a while and then took him home. But this week we took him to the nursery and let him stay and he loved it! No issues with dropping off, separation anxiety- nothing!

I posted a few weeks ago that Miles had slept through the night. It wasn't a fluke! He's continued sleeping through the night for 11 hours at a stretch! As moms, we like to think that we love our children unconditionally- but I love mine a whole lot more when they sleep!

And finally- after 6 weeks, a dozen trips to the doctor and thousands of dollars spent on medical care- we are finally a parasite free house! I feel like screaming that from the rooftops! I thought the poor kid would never get rid of all the junk in his intestines, but he is free and clear and feeling good! No one ever tells you when calculating adoption expenses to account for meeting your insurance deductible within a month of being home! It is crazy expensive for all that bloodwork and medication you need to get a child well from a 3rd world country.

And since things are going so well, we're getting asked a lot if we ever plan to adopt again. And to be honest, it really depends on which one of us you ask. Kamron is perfectly content with 3. I, on the other hand, think that *maybe* I see a little 3 or 4 year old Congolese girl fitting in with our family pretty well. But not any time really soon. We're just going to take a little time to enjoy things just as they are and count our blessing for smooth sailing so far.

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