September 12, 2010

I'm on a rant

I usually try to keep this blog a happy place, but every now and then a girl's just got to complain.  So today, I'm thinking about 20 things that just bug the crap out of me.

1. I hate the fact that I have had a cold that I just can't shake.  I especially hate this because after having two kids the old fashioned way, I wet my pants about every third time I sneeze or cough.  You know what I mean- it comes on ya' too fast to halt and cross your legs and clench.  Grrr... annoying.

2. The word "fart".  All the neighborhood kids say "fart" like it's the hot word of the week.  I just hate the way it sounds.  We are a "toot" kinda family.

3. People who offer to have you over for dinner and then expect your children to eat things like pickled beets. 

4.  Combing hair.  Everyone in this house cries when their hair gets combed.  I think I will shave everyone's head. I'll start with my own.

5.  Intolerance.  Burning Qurans.  Burning flags.  Prop 8 controversy.  The "N" word.  When we will learn that we are all just people with beating hearts and the desire to be loved and understood?

6.  Yo Gabba Gabba.  In my opinion it's the most annoying children's show on TV.  Oh- and the theme song to Sponge Bob.  Because really- it doesn't make any sense to live in a pineapple under the sea.

7.  Hard toilet paper.  We have kids who don't understand how much tp is too much to flush, so our plumber recommended this specific kind of toilet paper to help our flushing problems.  Unfortunately it feels like wiping with tree bark.

8.  Skinny jeans.  Oh lord- 98% of the population looks horrible in these and they are the only kind of jeans that any of the stores are selling this year.  I hate that the mid rise boot cut has become the  new "mom" jean.  I mean, am I so wrong that I don't want the top 2 inches of my butt crack showing or that I actually have thighs?  I am growing monumentally more uncool by the minute.

9.  Checking out with hair lotion and the sales person saying something like, "Oh, did you realize that this is for ethnic hair?"  Ummm, yeah.

10.  I hate when there is no chocolate in the house.  That spells a major catastrophe for me.

11.  Switching closets over from summer clothes to winter clothes.  Just shoot me now.

12.  Watching couples fight or sext each other on facebook.  I do not care what you are going to do to each other when you get off work.  Keep it to yourself.  Gross.

13.  Twitter.  I have been twittering (is that the right word?) for a month and I just can't figure it out at all. 

14.  The fact that once you have more than one child, they all blame the mess/fight/crying on the other ones.  We have serious "Not Me" syndrome going on in our house right now.

15.  I hate the fact that my six year old daughter already wants to be on the phone all day.  We are so going to be in for it when that girl turns into a teenager.

16.  Fighting with the insurance company.  Took me a week to convince them that a strangulated hernia surgery was not a "cosmetic" procedure.  Duh.

17.  How hotwheels cars, neighborhood children, and dirty dishes multiply at exponential rates. 

18.  All the news reports on bedbugs lately.  Freaks me out.  Kind of like how the PSA they used to show you about lice in grade school made you scratch your head for the whole rest of the day.

19.  People who sell old underwear at yard sales.  Not cool, people.  Put those in the trash.

20.  Whiners and complainers.  Put a fork in me- I'm done.

What's bugging you today?  Feel free to get it off your chest.

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