November 10, 2010

What's Up With That?

  • What's up with kids that puke in their sleep and don't even wake up!?  Every time I have something projecting out of my body- it wakes me up.  Duh.  So I don't get how kids can wake up covered in vomit and not even know it happened.  They chalk it up to the hot dog fairy coming to throw chunks of yesterday's lunch into their hair.
  • What's up with finding over a week's worth of half dissolved tuberculosis pills stuck under Miles' pack and play mattress.  The kid must be at least 3 1/2 years old to have the wherewithal to pull off that stunt- especially since he gets his meds at least an hour before bed.  So now he's coughing and I immediately think he must have active TB (not really- but I gravitate toward the dramatic).  I saw all those half eaten pills stuck all over the place and I had horrific images of that kid in The Poisonwood Bible who dies because she hid her malaria pills.  Comforting, huh? 
  • Same boy that hoards his TB pills also hoarded an almond in his mouth for an entire day.  I don't blame him- it came out of an Almond Joy (GROSS!) and it was miraculously still in his mouth about 6 hours later.  Gotta love food issues.
  • What's up with skinny jeans? I've lamented them before on here, but yesterday I actually tried on a pair.  I'm a size 10.  Up 15 pounds, I'm still a 10.  Down 20 pounds, I'm somehow still a 10.  I would have needed at least a size 43 to get those skinny jeans over my calves much less get them to button.  Stupid trends.  I may never get to be that person who wears boots over top of their jeans.
  • What's up with runny noses this time of year?  I mean, where in the world does all that snot come from?
  • What's up with security objects? Miles has decided that for the last 2 days he needs to carry around this removable bra insert that he found. His favorite thing to do is wear it around on his head like a yamaka. And it sticks to his hair like velcro. Weird.
  • What's up with my 6 year old already asking for a cell phone?  Yesterday, I told her that she couldn't roller blade around the neighborhood by herself because she might fall and I wouldn't know where she was to be able to help her.  Her response, "Mom- if you would just get me a cell phone, you wouldn't have to worry about that." Ummm... hell to the no.
  • What's up with me getting ready to cook dinner every night and realizing at the last minute that I am always short at least one essential ingredient?
  • What's up with daylight savings time? Is daylight in such danger that it really needs saving?  I love feeling ready to wake up by 5 am, but this feeling like I need to go to bed at 4:30 in the afternoon is for the birds.
  • What's up with hearing so much Paula Abdul on the radio lately?  Is there a Paula Abdul revival going on that I'm in the dark about?  Hearing "Straight Up" takes me right back to the 5th grade talent show where every single girl group in the school did an interpretive dance to that song. 
  • What's up with people thinking that stay-at-home moms have all the time in the world? No- I do not have time to plan all the class parties, head up your committee, save the world and still have time to blog.  I choose blogging.  I know- pathetic.
  • What's up with me being so cranky today?  Yikes.  I can't blame it on the cycles of the moon or body.  I'll just blame it on the kids.  Or the husband.  Or the dog.  Yes- that's the ticket.  It's all the dog's fault.

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