March 07, 2011

I love women (Me too!)

I caught some of the movie "Runaway Bride" this weekend.  I typically love Julia Roberts in all her pretty, toothy, awkward loud laughing glory- but this character she plays in "Runaway Bride" just gets to me.  She's mealy.  She's snively.  She's puny. She melts into whatever kind of man she's with.  "I like whatever you like".  Blech.  I think the reason that I hate that is that it reminds me a lot of myself many moons ago.  I thought it was being a "good" girl to be pleasing.  Somewhere around the age of 25, I stumbled upon the difference of being "pleasing" and being a doormat. 

I'm not a fan of puny women.  No siree bob.  I like my women to be hard core.  Not bitchy.  Just tough.  The kind of woman who can make a pie from scratch in the morning, change a flat tire at lunch time, raise children (if she wants), get a promotion, lead a company to a profit, unclog the toilet, have an intelligent conversation about world issues and do it all with style. I like a woman who is not afraid to have an opinion but who is open minded enough to consider another perspective. Yep- that's my kinda gal.

Once when I was just out of college, I went on a job interview.  The job I was interviewing for was sketchy and I couldn't get a whole lot of information about the company before I went.  I showed up and realized it was one of those schemy water purification system sales kind of jobs.  I sat down in the room full of other people who also couldn't believe they'd gotten conned into coming to this interview.  I debated just getting up and leaving before the presentation started and in walked an attractive twenty something guy who sat down right next to me.  He introduced himself as some sort of sales associate with the company.  He started asking me questions.  After every single thing I said, he said, "Me too!"  I have a degree in marketing (Me too!)  When I started college I thought I wanted to be an attorney. (Me too!)  I'm getting married this fall.  (Oh my gosh! Me too!)  I just started my period. (Me too!- not really, but you get the point)  The company plunked this "me too" guy right next to me to make me feel like everyone else that worked there was just like me.  It was a good marketing strategy, they just didn't execute very well.

For years, I think I was a "me too" person.  Maybe it's part of being an insecure twenty something.  Maybe I'm just feeling reflective as I'm only about a month away from turning 30.  Whatever it is, I'm glad that that phase of my life is over.  I think the shift in my brain came from finding some value in what I do.  When we began the adoption process a few years ago, I finally felt like I had found my passion in life.  I found my purpose, my voice, my bliss.  For the first time in my life, I felt like I had something to bring to the table that mattered.  I had an opinion of my own (imagine that!) and I finally had the confidence to share it.  Therefore- this blog was born.  People don't always get it, or like it, but I'm okay with that.

When I quit being a "me too!", the people that walked into my life were some of the most amazing women ever.  They have depth.  They have character.  I've always had strong women in my family, but now I was choosing those characteristics for my own friendships.  The breadth and depth that being in communities of awesome women has brought to my life has been so enriching.  I used to always subscribe to the notion that women are catty and conniving- that is was easier to be friends with men so that there wasn't always "drama".  And while it may be true of some women (and men) it is not true of the women that I have around in my grown up life.   I think there is something so beautiful about real, grown up women friendships.  The kind of friendships that validate you and accept you for who you are but also that challenge you to grow as a person and hold you accountable as you grow. Love it.

I love having friends who can share in each other's joys and let each other have the spotlight accordingly.  I love having friends who can  kick me in the butt when I need it.  I love the support that comes with a great big ol' bunch of gal pals.  So today's post is in honor of all of my awesome women friends.  You each rock in your own way.  You each bring something valuable to the table and I'm grateful for your quiet strength (okay- some of you are not so quiet about it, but I love you just the same!)
My kiddos with the original strong woman role model in my life-
my Granny Sadie on her 75th birthday yesterday.

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