April 17, 2011

Rules for boys

With the little boys getting older but being so close in age, I am finding myself having to shout more and more rules that I never ever dreamed I would hear coming out of my mouth.  Boys are gross.  When we only had a girl, it was not necessary to create rules pertaining to body parts and their functions.  But boys- ah... boys are a whole different ball of wax .  These are just a few of the things that I've heard myself say over the past few months:

1.  You may touch your own penis but you may NOT pull on or pinch anyone else's penis.  Your penis belongs to YOU and only you until you are at least 27!

2.  In this house we do NOT toot on each other.  This includes tooting onto an object and then putting it in someone's face.

3.  We also do not jump from the couch or the chair WWE style onto anyone else's head or neck.  We especially do not do this naked.

4.  Keep your tongue in your mouth when you kiss your siblings.

5.  Do not put your hand in your butt.  However, if you must for some crazy reason dig in your butt, you must wash your hands.

6. When someone is going to the bathroom, including mommy (okay, especially mommy) do not try to stick your hand in the stream. 

7. It is a REQUIREMENT that you wipe after you drop the kids off at the pool, not an option.

8.  You are not trying to kill anything in the toilet when you pee.  It is not necessary to shoot so hard that it splashes.  Pee is not short for torPEEdo.

After actually writing those down, I am even more convinced that I need another girl to restore some balance and dignity around here.  But oh, how I do love those little boys (even if they are disgusting)!

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