May 18, 2011

Ants, Bubble Gum and Diapers to the Face

I know that summer is coming.  I feel it in my very core.  I'm looking forward to it like nobody's business.  I know all kinds of parents that flip out when the kids are home from school.  But my easiest kid is the only one in school right now and so it will be nice to have her home!  Plus- let's face it.  Homework is really just a means to aggravate and torture parents and so I'm looking forward to letting that routine go for a while. 

Here are a few ways that I know that summer is coming:

1.  Ants.  Every May we get an infestation of these teeny tiny neary microscopic ants.  No amount of exterminating or spraying gets rid of them.  I keep praying that they will make themselves useful and band together and pick me up and carry me to the Bahamas but that has yet to happen.    

2.  There were three wads of gooey bubble gum in my bathtub this week. If it were winter, they'd be frozen bubble gum wads because it gets cold in the bathroom in the winter!  Just ask a butt that has had the privelege of sitting on the cold porcelain.  Bubble gum priveledges have been revoked but somehow I still keep finding it.  No one will fess up to it. If the kids were smart, they'd blame it on the ants.

3.  I shed actual tears at the thought of bathing suit season.  With DVR, I've missed all the get thin quick in time for summer ads on tv and so it snuck up on me.  I am declaring this year the year to lay around in a moo moo by the pool.

4. The changes in weather have caused my kid with frequent nosebleeds to have even more nosebleeds. Yesterday, I was totally unprepared with the tissues in the car and shoved a diaper on the child's face to stop the bleeding. Child was mortified. Mom scores a point for practical embarrassment.

5.  My favorite pair of sweats have sprung a hole in the crotch.  It is nature's way of telling me it's time to trade them in for cut off sweatpants shorts.


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