Yowza. We've been through one crazy day and a half. Miles had the first of two eye surgeries yesterday to correct his ptosis (droopy eyelids). Y'all, I was a nervous wreck. I love the way that Miles looks and I knew that the surgery would alter his face so much. I mean, those sleepy eyes are kinda his trademark look and it absolutely broke my heart to do anything to them.
When Miles came home from Congo, multiple eye doctors told us that he would require corrective surgery. Since we were having so many other medical issues and emotional issues with Miles we put it off and just kept up our visits to the optometrist every 6 months. The last time that we went, the doctor told us that we really couldn't put it off much longer. By not having the surgery we were risking permanent damage to his eye (which has already changed shape to compensate for the part of his pupil that is covered by his lid) and substantial vision loss. Not to mention that Miles had to tilt his head back so far to see out from under his eyelids that neck problems and balance problems were beginning to emerge.
Our surgeon opted to do two different surgeries- one eye at a time 2-4 weeks apart. Sometimes the swelling after one of these surgeries is so severe that the eyes swell shut and if both eyes were swollen shut at the same time, it would be too difficult on a little one. We went in for the first surgery on the most severe eye yesterday. Miles' right eyelid covered almost 40% of his pupil so we opted to do that one first. I can't imagine walking around having the top 40% of the world be blurry and off color, but my little man has been experiencing the world off kilter for his whole life.
Prior to this, Miles has been hospitalized three previous times that required anesthesia. Even though he is young, he remembers those times vividly. His anxiety level shot through the roof as soon as we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. I had flashbacks of one of our darkest days ever when we took Miles to have an MRI of his brain and he bit the nurse until he drew blood and beat his head against the floor until they had to sedate him like a wild animal. It was the lowest of our low points. I was quickly drawn back to the present when I felt Miles' death grip on me while we walked in the hospital. He wanted ME. He knew that I was there to protect him. My presence was comforting to him. It was a far different reaction that our previous times at the hospital where he looked at me like I was Satan taking a lamb to the slaughter. Sometimes it's hard to see how much progress he's made until something like this happens to remind me that he's come so incredibly far from that scared, little, wild boy that he was just a year ago. I'm so proud of him.
We are so fortunate to have a rockin' awesome children's hospital in our area. They are always so great to Miles. We asked for an anti-anxiety, calming drug immediately and they loving brought him a cup of "loopy juice" to help his nerves. They set us up in a great room and turned on the movie Cars for him. I asked if they would wait and do all the procedures that they needed to do until he was under anesthesia and they obliged. They didn't even try to take his temperature or blood pressure or anything. Thank God for understanding, rock-star nurses who were sympathetic to his trauma history and were so loving to him. He got good and relaxed and watched a movie and stuck stickers all over himself until it was time for him to go back for surgery. They wheeled him away and I had a good cry over how my handsome boy would look so different from that little, droopy eyed baby I brought home from Africa.