December 23, 2011

I was almost funny

I finally decided last night that I should start to wrap some presents.  Hubby was sitting in the living room chair talking on the phone.  I was wrapping my nephew's How Do Dinosaur's Laugh Out Loud book.  Do you know this series?  We love 'em.  Anyway, it is a lift the flap book where they make jokes and you lift the flap to see the punchline.  They were all very corny and dinosaur-y.  At that moment, I had a stroke of genius.  I came up with the most wonderful dinosaur joke known to man.

I looked at Kamron who was wrapping up his phone conversation.  The second he said "bye", I decided to deliver it.  Now, keep in mind, I am not very funny and I am a HORRIBLE joke teller.  So I had a little nervous thing going on trying to deliver this joke to make sure it was as funny as it was in my head.  And in my head it was HI-larious. 

I opened my mouth to speak and here's what came out, "Hey, Kamron.  What do you call it when a dinosaur has trouble ummmm "performing"............  EREPTILE disfunction!  I died laughing.   

Seriously, y'all.  I thought at that moment that I was the most brilliant comic who had ever lived.  I saw this joke as being my big break.  First it would turn into something of a phenomenon, like the Bloggess' Beyonce the Chicken.  Then Ellen DeGeneres would catch wind of me and invite me to be on her show.   Then Leno and before you know it, everyone would know that Megan Terry had now coined the term ereptile dysfunction and I would be known as the queen of dinosaur sex jokes.

And then it happened.... Kamron said, "I'll bet if you google that, some really funny comedy bits would come up."  WHAT!?!?!  How could there be comedy bits about it?  I just made it up.  Me and all my comedic genius.  Surely, no one else could have come up with something so freaking hilarious.

I tiptoed to the computer and typed in ereptile dysfunction.  Google changed my search to erectile.  I took that as a good sign!  I mean, if google didn't recognize ereptile dysfunction than I MUST have made it up.  But then I saw it.  A single line from Urban Dictionary that says, "Ereptile Dysfunction- dinosaur impotence".  My heart just sank.  No Ellen Show.  No world wide fame on Leno.  No "Megan Terry, dinosaur sexologist" on my business cards.  Dammit.  In fact, I'm so late to the dinosaur impotence party, that there are already mugs and t-shirts and cartoons with the EREPTILE DYSFUNCTION slogan on them.  Grrrrrr.

Oh well.  It was fun to think that for once in my life I'd been clever, even it was just for a fleeting moment. :-)



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