December 19, 2011

Oh, Monday

A little rundown of all the happenings in our home over the last few days...

*  One of the boys had a weird accident yesterday.  I won't tell you which one it is, because they may be embarrassed when they are adults and realize that their mom broadcast this all over the Internet. It was Miles.  I was in the bathroom drying my hair and Miles was sitting on the toilet.  All of a sudden he starts shrieking, "MY EYE!  MY EYE!"  I panicked since his eyelids are still full of stitches from surgery last week so I ran over to check and see if he'd popped any stitches.  When I got to him, he had pee dripping down his forehead running in a stream down to his eyes.  The boy had peed on his own face.  From a sitting position.  I do not know how this happened, but it was gross.  At times like these he is my husband's son and I lay no claim to him :-)

*  Noah's school play was magnificent.  There were about 40 kids all singing off key and performing their little hearts out.  Noah's only line of "V is for virgin" was a huge hit and he delivered it like a champ.  Throughout all of these weeks of virgin talk, he has surprisingly never asked what a virgin is.  I kept trying to decide what I would say if that happened and couldn't come up with anything good.  I was tossing around the idea of explaining olive oil creation tactics or non-alcoholic beverages.  Why don't they put these things in the parenting manuals?

* I had a little mom melt down yesterday.  We had a couple of free hours yesterday afternoon and I thought that it would be the perfect window of time to make some Christmas cutout cookies.  I suggested it to the kids who all enthusiastically said, "WooHoo!  We want to make cookies.  You are the best mom ever for coming up with such awesome things for us to do!"  Not really, but they did want to make cookies.  So I spent a ton of time mixing up the dough and scrubbing all the remnants of playdough off of the cookie cutters.  I put out what seemed like a half a bag of flour all over the kitchen table and called in the troops.  Noah immediately picked up a container of sprinkles and in his haste to figure out how to get the top off, dumped the entire thing on the floor.  Green sprinkles balls bouncing and rolling all over the floor.  I smiled and shrugged that one off and we started rolling out the dough.  We have two rolling pins and three kids.  You do the math.  It quickly spiraled out of control with one constantly feeling left out because they didn't have a rolling pin. 

I finally rolled out the dough and handed over the cutters.  They each picked up a cookie cutter, cut out one cookie and decided that they no longer wanted to make cookies and that they wanted to go play instead.  They all ran away from the table and there I stood with smoke coming out of my ears.  I went ballistic.  I *may* have even immaturely told my children that I would never ever ever plan anything fun for them to do ever again in their whole lives and they would grow up to be old people who never got to do anything fun.  I *may* have started banging dishes around to wake up my napping husband so that I was not alone in my anger.  Only he didn't take the dishes slamming seriously and stayed in bed.  Probably a smart move on his part.  I just loooooove my passive aggressiveness.  I put a few crappy looking cookies on the cookie sheet and put them in the oven with no sprinkles or chocolate chip eyeballs and no Christmas joy.  I scooped up the rest of the dough and slammed it into a bowl and jammed it in the refrigerator.  I wiped up flour until I thought that I'd have enough flour paste to make a salt dough map of the whole world in correct proportions.  I swept up green sprinkle balls for what I was sure was at least 5 hours.  I muttered under my breath about ungrateful kids and other such nonsense.

When those sad looking little cookies came out of the oven everyone suddenly became interested.  I went all Little Red Hen on their a$$es and didn't let them have any.  (I finally caved at bedtime and shared my cookies)  Dude.  Sometimes trying to be a good mom just does NOT pay off.  It just proves my theory that no good can come from trying to be "that" mom who bakes beautifully decorated cookies with her children.  That mom sucks.  I digress.

*  How do you like our new look?  Lauren at LC Designs redid my blog for me.  She was awesome to work with and I'm a little bit in love with the new design.  Also- we now have a different comment form if you want to leave comments.  It will make it easier for me to reply to comments, etc.  Did you know that comments make bloggers just stupid happy?  They do.  Just sayin'.

*  My mom and Sadie and I went to see the Nutcracker on Saturday night.  It was my first time to see the ballet as an adult and Sadie's first time ever.  It was pure magic!  I'm hoping that we can make this a new Christmas tradition.

*  I told my husband that all I want for Christmas is for him to clean out my kitchen cabinets so that an avalanche does not occur every time one of the doors is opened.  For mother's day, I got new pots and pans (because nothing says "We love you, mom" like further enslavement to the kitchen!) and instead of passing on the old pans, there are now two sets shoved into a cabinet built for one.  I just can't bring myself to tackle it which is evidenced by the fact that my cabinets look like this: 

*Note: no cookware was harmed in the making of this photo. 
 My aunts probably just looked at this and said, "Oh my.  She's turned into her granny!"

*  My children are upstairs playing school right now.  I can hear Sadie telling her "students" that they will get F's if they are not quiet and the boys screaming out "Yes ma'am!  We'll be good!"  It is quickly making me forget the pee on the face and the cookie making incident yesterday.  Thank God.  They may actually make it til Christmas after all.

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