May 29, 2012

We Got Cocky And Sweaty And Other Campfire Stories...

Y'all, we got cocky.  We thought that our two successful backyard camping experiences made us experts.  We told ourselves, "We are the freaking camping masters!  We can totally go to the state park and camp for multiple nights.  It will rock our socks off!"  And we booked a campsite two hours away from home for the long weekend. 

Our first clue that the weekend was going to be less than perfect should have come when it took us over two hours to load the car.  In 90+ degree heat.  We wanted to take our bikes with us on our trip and in order to take all of our bikes, we had to get a bike rack for our minivan.  Because our minivan wasn't cool enough on it's own, we had to load it down with spider man bikes and a grown up bike with one of those annoying baby seats on the back.  The reviews of said bike rack said "easy assembly!"  and "only took 3 minutes to install!"  They obviously did not take into account our ineptitude for all things that need to be assembled because one hour later we were still dripping sweat trying to attach that GD bike rack to the car.  We finally got it on, (or so we thought) put a zillion bikes on it and took off.  We went over the hump at the end of the driveway and off it all came.  We figured out how to fix it and got on with the show- only starting to head to the lake/campground 3 hours behind schedule.

The second clue that the weekend was not going to be all roses was that the temperature gauge in the car read 97 and the radio reports said that the heat index was well over 100 degrees.  No problem, I thought.  We were going to the lake!  However, we don't have a boat or any other lake type floating device and therefore the proximity to water did us absolutely no good.  The lake is man made and it drops from the shore to about 60 feet down in no time.  Not exactly what you want to throw your kids into.  Well- I take that back.  After the second day of whining, I would have thrown them all in and then walked away.

I should have also known that I would have stayed grumpy for days when the following two things happened: 1) I left my happy pills on the counter at home and 2) I sweated through every pair of underwear I had on the first day.  Kamron says that I share too much.  Talking about swamp ass would be an example of something he would say is over sharing.  I say it's a common problem that should be discussed at length.  It's just one way that we differ. Potato Potato  (uh, I just realized that the difference in pronunciations can't really be conveyed when you type out potato twice. Oh well.)

We ended up beating the heat at the public pool across from the campground, which we totally could have done at home for free, but such is life.  Kamron and I took books and our music and other such things that people would use to relax and found that by the time we gathered wood, started fires and prepared the food, that there was zero time to relax.  We would have made crappy pioneers.

My phone didn't work and I went three days with no Internet and no email.  I wish that this didn't make me want to pull all of my hair out, but sadly, I'm a little technology dependent.  By the third day, my skin was itching.  Kamron says it's bug bites, but I think it was the physical manifestation of my technology withdrawal coming out of my pores.

But it wasn't all bad.  Not even a little bit.  Yes- it wasn't perfect.  But at the end of the day we still spent three days loving on our kids and spending time together.  We were building memories that will last them a lifetime.  They were smiley the whole weekend, despite having parents who were tired and dying from the heat.  They talked and talked around the fire at night and to be honest- when we are home, I don't always take the time to listen.  It was great hearing their little stories and hear their giggles when we told them embarrassing and funny stories about when we were little.  Here are a few highlights from the weekend:

   Home sweet home.

Proving that spending hours trying to attach those bikes to the van was worth it!  I think Sadie rode a million miles over the course of the weekend. 


Noah gathered sticks in the woods all weekend.  I'm convinced he's the only one of us that would have survived had we born in pioneer times.  I couldn't even stay alive playing Oregon Trail. 

Miles spent the weekend playing in the water spigot.  Like me, he soaked through all of his undies and by the last day, he was going commando.  This resulted in many instances of him bouncing up and down exclaiming, "I can feel my wiener jumping in my pants!"  It's the little things in life that bring us so much joy, no?

We visited the National Trout Hatchery.  It was more fun that it sounds.


We fished for about six minutes before we realized that we were frying like eggs on the rocky shore.  Also- there were no fish. They must have all been at the hatchery. 

When Miles would get overly annoying, we turned him into Cornholio and it seemed to snap him right out of it.  My  next campaign is going to be to get "the Cornholio" written into the therapy books.  It works.

Before we left, I went on a quest to buy the most redneck coozies I could find.  These made me ridiculously happy every single time I looked at them.


We made really good food!


We played countless games of UNO.  Only we called it "Oh-low" because it's way more fun to say.  And we are all about making things more FUN!

  On the way home, we stopped and let the kids climb all over the nation's "unofficial" biggest tree.  If you drive through other states, you get to see the biggest ball of twine or the biggest frying pan.  I think I'll take our Kentucky trees any day.


And today?  Today, I am getting my technology fix in the air conditioning.  In clean underwear.  And eating food that I didn't have to cook on a fire.  It's totally epic.     


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