"Mommy. I gots a pocket knipe. It's wike Alvin and de Cheepmunks. I cut wopes and twees wit my pocket knipe. I put it in my underweahs and I take it to camping and I take it to school and I take it to Chwistmas. And I be brave boy wit my pocket knipe."
For three or four days he's carried his "pocket knife" around with him everywhere he goes. I just don't have the heart to tell him that it's really daddy's shoe horn that goes all over daddy's stinky feet. I also don't have the heart to tell daddy that the shoe horn has been in Miles "underweahs". It'll be our little secret.